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| I can't stop drifting off. I love this time of year, and work is kinda busy, school is very busy, but I just keep falling asleep. I blame the cat that keeps snuggling up on my lap while I am reading homework, or drawing, or looking for recipes for dinner. Then bam I wake up an hour later with nothing to show for it. What's the deal. Why does she have to be so cute- I mean look at her- i shouldn't bother her maybe I'll just sit here for five more minutes...
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| It is perfect outside. I am trying to soak up the 70's before they turn into 90's and 100's. My Dad just found out about a cancerous tumor on his larynx. So CT scans, biopsies, radiation and chemo will follow. I am on a break from school until July hip hip hooray. I have a bad habit lately of not doing anything when nothing is required of me. This is bound to turn around though, it always does. Some dear friends just bought a house a little farther away from us then they live now :( but I am so excited to bully them into growing vegetables in their yard for me :) and to put my paintings on their walls, and visiting on a almost annoying schedule. I really don't have much going on except for the looming Dad being sick and mom being an enabler thing. Yeah I am going to try not to think about it for as long as possible, goodness knows it will be to much to consider soon enough. And why get all worked up if for some shocker everything goes really well and everything actually gets better because you can't drink during radiation, and hell what if they get in there and everything is peachy keen- they made a mistake its just polyps. Yeah like I said I'm just not gonna think about it-yeah right.
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| Hello, here it comes a lite hearted entry- I am just stalling. I have class tonight and could be studying, but come on where is the fun in that? Instead I cooked for friends, made necklaces for my sister, finished the book I started reading last night and emptied the dishwasher. Yay! I actually have been reading a little too much I need to start refocusing my energy on mid-terms. Books I read this week: the sweet, terrible, glorious year I truly, completely lost it by Shanahan, The Improbable Cat by Ahlberg, and Feed by MT Anderson. And i am listening to Flyte of the Septimus Heap Series to and from school ( an ozone killing 2 hours a week, my carbon footprint is bigger then yours ) Hope all is well in your worlds.
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| A friends sister took her own life this weekend. we went to the wake tonight. this is happening to often.
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| so they landed the plane. my dad was traveling from his home to my sister's via plane and he became unresponsive had no pulse and the dr's on board asked the pilot to land the plane. Only when leaving the town my folks live in, would their be five dr.s aboard. We grew up in the middle of 3 giant hospitals, and 2 world renowned medical schools. After spending a night in a SC hospital with my mom and my sister who drove down to lend support he returned home. to pour a drink. and light another cigarette. I went with him to the dr this week and they recommended seeing a neurologist and a cardiologist. and to cut down to only 4 drinks a day. and quit smoking. Unfortunately they did not keep him in the hospital long enough to start detoxing while he was in SC. one of my sisters is ready to cut him off and keep him out of her life until he is getting help. my other sister sees this as unrealistic in that he will never change. i can see both sides. i have given up on dad changing. but i desperately want to believe my mother (who is still still with him) will get some help and stop living her life as a prisoner. so i have been visiting my folks every day almost. and well to watch him kill him self or cut him off- i could say goodbye to him tomorrow but knowing that he would take it out on my mom and make her existence even more miserable i can't stand. i am the protector. i am trying to stop. but its hard.
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